I don't believe I have extolled the virtues of one of our greatest additions to this year's revamped Nightmare - "The Nightmare Way" (can be abridged to TNW). What is TNW you ask while talking to a computer out loud in front of people? Well, I'll tell ya weirdo.
In year's past i was not allowed to do things that were too physically compromising because it was unfair to expect people to spend their hard earned money (or even money that was unearned or stolen...who am i to judge?) on something they could potentially, physically, not be capable of executing. I have always wanted to be able to make people crawl, shimmy, climb, duck, avoid, duck again, maneuver, jump, search, abduct, beat, on, the, head, with, club but have been held back by the need to show restraint. But then it dawned on me. what if you suckas actually chose a path that offered all of the aforementioned and more? You could go one of a few ways, but you, with full knowledge of what is in store for you physically, chose to compromise yourself in all ways, and if you didn't you were still going to enjoy the Haunted House to its full extent? How would that sound? well, it sounds like something that's going to happen. The nightmare way is happening. this is happening. Several rooms will have alternative exits. Choose the Nightmare way and be prepared to crawl, climb, fly and eat pierogie because we're gonna git ya!