Thursday, November 29, 2007

Is anyone reading this crap?

hey, i would like to write a blog at least once a week until there's some action(which there may be sooner than halloween), but not if no one is reading this crap. so, if you have a moment and you are reading these things let me know that i am not doing this in vain like i do everything else in my life.

until then...

Friday, November 9, 2007

The End, Thank You

so, i didn't write that many blogs during the haunted house. that is when i should have been. right? like, you were only moderately interested in this in the first place, and that modicum of interests was likely driven by "hell, let me see if there are any interesting antecdotes he tells about the run, like Tyra Banks came and she screamed so hard her tit fell out." well, she didn't come, but Giselle did come on halloween dressed like an FBI agent. her boobies, much to the chagrin of everyone gawking at her, stayed inside her dress, however.

Vincent D'Anafrio came with his whole family, and his son was too chicken and backed out after only the third room. D'Anafrio comes every year and he is actually a really nice guy. this is the first year his son chickened out. we finally got him. he's like 11.

but all in all the house was an enormous success. we broke all attendance and box office records. it was really quite remarkable really. not even in our wildest dreams did we think these kind of crowds were going to come. there was a tipping point somewhere along the way, and i'll never figure it out. i'd like to thank everyone who helped make this possible. firstly, sumeet Bharati. she's first because she helped out unumerably, but also because in my speach at our closing night party she was the only one i forgot, and she was more important than 90% of the people i mentioned, and she is secretly in love with me, but who isn't? she is the genral manager for the event. next chip meyrelles the execituve producer, jim glaub who headed up our website and internet marketing, and then... you know what, as i write this i realize there are like 100 people i could thank. so i am going to stop now. these people are not necessarily at the top of my list (but they might be) but they are who came to me first in my stream of consciosness. thanks to everyone involved. especially the beautiful actors. some of them weren't so beautiful, so were extremely beautiful and others were alright. you know who you are sucka faces.

so thanks again, i can't wait for next year's house, but we have other things in the hopper before then, so i will be sure to blog about them if you give a shit.

peace out

Monday, October 22, 2007

It's getttin' hot in there

we have had so many people come on fridays and saturdays that the accumulated body heat turns that place into an easy bake oven by 9 PM. so people come out drenched in sweat (partly because of the scares, partly because it is as hot as a bitch up in that piece. but mostly because of the scares, of course).

and also, please get your tickets in advance for any performance this thursday on. you should for wednesday and tuesday as well (the 23rd and 24th) but you might be able to get those at the box office. but you will be told it is sold out from thursday and beyond. one of the main questions we get on our hotline is "do we have to get them in advance?" well, yes, if you wanna get in. please listen to me as i tell you. get them in advance or don't whine about it if you get there and you are told we are sold out and happy Halloween.

finally, wear some g-d sensible shoes to this thing. i have seen so many stupid flip-flops and 3 inch heels. those are awful for this house. it isn't dangerous, but it is messy and challenging and requires some physicality on your behalf. so don't wear stupid shoes. please. you are just as cute without them. i think you are super cute in tennis shoes. they look great on you. all your friends are going to like you and that dude is still going to think it's hot that you are jumping all over him even if you are wearing an old pair of saucony's. cool? thanks

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Birthday

i turned 34 on tuesday. several of my cast members, who are on the youngish side, made me feel very old. they genuinely thought i was between 40 and 50. now i don't look that old do i? so for the record i am 34. and you are welcome to send me gifts.

It's Going Great, Sorry No Blogs, Reviews

Evidently, people read these things, so i need to be better about it.

We are in the stretch run and things couldn't be going better. people are coming, people are getting scared, people are leaving (sweating and hyper-ventilating). i look at the house and there are a million things i would do different, but that is always the case. i like its rough around the edges feel, but in years to come i would like to make it a little slicker and a little more durable. that's definitely happening. i feel the ideas are strong, but those ideas have to mesh better with a gazillion people trampling all over it every night. it has definitely held up better than year's past both literally and artistically, so i am happy about that, but it could always be better. much better. i will always strive to do that.

Our reviews have been fantastic. The Times gave us an out-of-the-box review that didn't make much sense, but it seemed like he thought it was disturbing and scary which is what he want (the part he didn't get is why anyone would subject themselves to that - and you know why you do!), The Daily News gave us a wonderful write-up. 5 out of 5 Screams! Time Out also rated us higher than our in-city competitor (not to be named here, but you know who they are. Daily News did the same by the way). So we are very happy.

NPR is doing another feature and I was on Maxim Radio yesterday ("whoa, bro, too much information. ha ha. are the girls hot, dude? awesome brohan i can't wait to go!").

Oddly enough we are going to be on the cover of this week's Next Magazine (a gay rag) and some MTV Network (i think MTV 4 or some shit) is coming to shoot their top 20 countdown from our house tonight and air it on halloween. and did you guys see me on good day new york last week? of course not, you guys aren't awake at 7:30 AM.

So it is going really well. i am going to the house right now to do some beautification of it. You guys are wrecking the crap out of it. but that just means your scared. so we'll fix it and be happy.

Monday, October 8, 2007

two weeks in the can! Hot 97 night

wow, people are loving this house and attendance is up two and a half times over last year. Cipha Sounds from Hot 97 was there on Friday night and it was a ton of fun. he is a great DJ. Hot 97 night was amazing. a kazillion people came, Cipha was broadcasting live from the house, and our ears are still ringing. we had such a new york moment on friday as well. Hot 97 sent down a 73 piece marching band to perform outside the haunted house. we had no idea they were coming, but there they were standing on the sidewalk with their tubas and flag dancers. It weas 9 PM, and all of a sudden a powerful marching band version of Thriller started blaring and filling up the streets of the LES. people were gathering from the whole neighborhood to watch, and people were poking their little pointy heads out the windows. it was pretty amazing... that no one issued a noise complaint and had us arrested. maybe its a case for the feds.

anyway, we have fangoria night coming up on thursday the 11th (and the giveaways for that night are amazing!).

tickets are sincerely selling fast from this point on, so don't wait a few days before. we also are selling tickets for this wednesday and thursday at smarttix a real good discount. use the codeword HUMP when purchasing your tickets at and you will get $15 off the SuperHaunt ticket (normally $35 at the door - includes both the house and maze). this is absolutely the last time we are going to do anything like that. once we get into this weekend forget about it. we are damn near already sold out for many performances!

finally, nightmare backstage is coming up on october 15th. this is actually going to be an awesome event. me and my concept team and designers are going to answer any questions you might have, do demonstrations, and then take you through the house and show you how things work in the house. show you all the secrets. like a DVD special feature "making of", "behind the scenes", "featurette", "sneak peak", "inside look", "first look", "you saw it here first", "this is how we do it", "come and get some", "tuna fish sandwich" kind of thing. it is totally worth the $20. that is an amazing tuna fish sandwich we aren't talking about here.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

we're open!

so we had a press gala opening on Thursday and i was panicked. the house wasn't finished, not by a long shot, and it was super crowded. it was also a time out ny free stuff event and they were bringing like 500 people. i was practically catatonic with stress and was certain it was going to be a humiliating disaster. there were doors not installed, rooms not finished, special effects not operational, and hardly any of the roofs were even on. a pretty big mess.

but we pulled it off. we made do with what we had. we did temper the audiences expectations a bit because i thought it was awful. but i was wrong. people really seemed to like our half a house. this was very, very encouraging. then on friday, when we were at like 90% done, it was really cooking. audiences were going bananas. i was talking to people in the lobby when they exited and discovered so many repeat customers from years past, and all of them telling me this was by far and away the best house we have done, bar none.

i am usually quite down on myself. i never think i got it just right. the response is usually very positive, but there are always a couple of assholes who go out of their way to act like one and say some stupid things. not this time. i don't think it is perfect, but i am very pleased with it. i am proud of this house and i hope you guys enjoy it as much as the people from the first three days. that is, until a bunch of frat boys come in and wreck the place because they think their girlfriends think that kind of behavior is sexy. sadly, they are probably right. so don't join a fraternity and come to the haunted house! leave you cynicism at the door partyman.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

nightmare backstage

hey, go to nightmare backstage. go to our website, under promotions and check out nightmare backstage. it is an hour and a half seminar on the making of the house, demonstrations on some cool effects, and a tour through the house with me and the other designers where we explain the secrets of the house. it is going to be a lot of fun, and a very rare opportunity to be taken backstage of nightmare! friggin' do it!

omigod like i am so sorry

this is the most crucial time for me to blog because i am supposed to be writing about how it is going, what's going on, how awesome everything, this is cool, that isn't, your mama this, etc. but this is absolutely the most difficult time for me to do so. i am crazy, as well as crazy busy and the whole team has worked very late into the night to get this up. the house is more technically sophisticated than ever before. and if we can put it altogether on time it will be great. if we don't, then, er, not as much. i'm banking on us pulling it together. it is the only way. it's the little things that i am concerned about like whether we pounded out all the screws jutting out. just kidding. but watch your heads just in case. just kidding. but do watch them.

anyway, i brought the actors throught house today teaching them all of the roles and they were completely psyched. they unequivically gave this house the nod over previous years. we have a lot of tremedous talent working this year. so many veterans from years past came back, so we have a very experienced crew. we had the luck of being able to choose the very best for once. it isn't always that way. i believe we have the best of the best from year's past. they are ready to scare the bile out of you, and i know they can. watch out sucka, here comes the spiderman! what?

peace out i got gout

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Haunternet is Launched!

go to haunternet. it is finally launched! watch my podcast. it's fun. have a good time. tell us what you think.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

It's Long Enough and You'll See it All

As many of you might remember, we did 5 houses last year, and are doing only the one really big one this year. there are many reasons for this, many of them i have gone over in this very blog, but one i haven't addressed is the improvement on your experience.

the Manhattan house is the flagship store, yet out of the 5 houses last year it might not have been the strongest. not all of the time, mind you, but on those nights that we were super crowded. that makes a huge difference. you see, one of the things i realized after last year's experience is the reason people seemed to be more scared at the brooklyn and Staten Island houses last year was because they had a nice even flow of people, but rarely got overwhelmed. Manhattan was always overwhelmed. what a nice steady pace does is allows the actors to stay energized and fresh without the pressure to keep it moving. thus people are in the house longer, have more concentrated scares, more energy, and a better experience. so i designed this house on having that kind of experience in this super busy house in Manhattan.

what i've done is create a house that is twice as long for starters, but even more importantly, it is designed so that no matter where you are you will not miss the happening in the room. it is happening all around you and all of the time. it is also okay if you combine with another group, you probably won't even realize it. there is a real linearity to it all and you are focused on where you are in the house, and not getting lost. it is not dependant on events that have beginnings, middles and ends. it is intense the entire time. so no matter how busy the house is it will always work. there is no need to execute more quickly. and we are now on the third day of load in, and it looks amazing. this house is bananas and i can't wait for each and everyone of you to go through. if you do and you have a good time, let us know. if you don't, then kiss my butt, we did our best (and you're a cynical bastard!)

Monday, September 17, 2007


so it looks like we are putting on Manhattan's only drive-in movie theatre on October 5th,6th and 7th. this is a costly venture ion general so we have been waiting to hear if a sponosr came through to help put this on on Hot's end. and it looks like one has. if this goes according to plan we will be showing the first three movies in this partner's film franchise. i don't wanna say too mch just in case it all falls through, but this same partner has a new entry in this franchise coming out on October 26th. what? you think it is who? oh,i'm not sure, can't say at this time.

but the only way you can see it (and we will have a car partner as well, you are going to be sitting in one of the seats in a car) is by winning the tickets on Hot 97. it is the absolute only way. so whether you like hip-hop or r and b, listen to hot 97 for the next 6 weeks. they are going to be giving away a ton of cool crap. so run, don't walk. and keep up with the promotions page on the site for me details about this hot 97 weekend.


so we load in tomorrow. i cannot believe another year has past since we did this. holy crap! load in is fun becase what's more fun than creating haunted houses, but it is also like building a 23 room mansion in 10 days. so it is pretty strenuous, with very, very long hours and lots of heavy lifting. so it can kinda suck too. it is more fun when you are finessing it than when you are removing flats from off a flatbed. but, i cannot wait to tell everyone how it is shaping up. i will be sure to report back everyday to let you know how it went. it is 1 in the morning now and i have to there at 8:30 am. what the ef! i'm going to sleep!

Monday, September 10, 2007

New Ghost Stories promo

you gotta check this one out. resident director of photogrpahy and video, Jaisen Crockett, just finished the new Ghost Stories promo. it is truly fantastic. i think it is our best promo thus far. and it is only 30 seconds! check it out!

Friday, September 7, 2007


this is our promo video from last year's house. we made it from the footage from last year's house and are using it for early promo on our website and other places (check it out on fangoria's homepage as well. pretty nifty. if you have been to our website then you have probably seen it, but if not check it the F out! we are working on a very very cool ghost video for this year's. that should be up on our website next week. just like the virtual house i promised went up this week (it didn't, but next week. i promise sucka face).

Funk Master Flex and Arthur Suydam

SO, it looks like we may MAY have funkmaster flex DJ live from the house on Hot 97 Night on October 5th. lots of other goodies that night as well. there is a very good chance.

also, we definitely have arthur suydam doing signings on Forbidden Planet Night on October 4th. this is very, very, very cool. he is the illustrator of Marvel Zombies as well as a whole bunch of other popular comic books. so if you have any Arthur Suydam stuff here is your opportunity to get your thing signed and increase its value big time and then sell it to me undervalued and then i sell it on ebay. cool?

Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Simpsons' Haunted House/ Dark Ride

have you seen this? hilarious. i promise, our haunted house is waaaaay better than this.


we have gotten dozens of requests for when we are going to be hiring for the house. we are posting something on our website later today as well as all of our social networking sites, but you can hear it here first. the open calls will be September 18th and 19th at CSV (located at 107 Suffolk Street between rivington and delancey in the lower eastside) between 5-8 PM. bring headhsot and resume. if you are a veteran from year's past you will get first preference, but we have a lot of performer and front of house staff opportunities, so some on down.

there you have it. i hope to see many of you there!

Monitor this

have you seen my short little horror film called Monitor? it has become somewhat of phenomenon on youtube. i have actually received several offers from people asking me to direct their short horror movie from this. it's amazing this internet. someone actually offered me his sony playstation 3, his xbox360 amd 20 games to direct his movie, i shit you not. i turned it down because the movie was crap, and he was a wierdo, and the games sucked. anyway, the two actors in this film are my wife and my son Diego when he was 1 1/2. we made it as a round about way to promote the haunted house. the film has nothing to do with the house. it was just like "here, watch this scary little movie. the guy who directed this directed the house. so go." and it ends with a little plug for the house. check it out!

Friday, August 31, 2007

Wow, the Combo is working

first off, i am very surprised that we've sold any tickets to the haunted house at this early stage. i am even more surprised that we sold our first tickets like threew weeks ago. and even more surprised by how many we have sold. it's fantastic! i can't believe people are thinking about halloween events in August. but hell, i am glad you are. BUT what's most surprising is that every single - not some, the majority or even most - but ALL of the tickets we have sold thus far are combo tickets. that means the house and the maze. people are really getting into this one low price for the two events.

trust me when i tell you, if you sign up for either the email list or our text club on the website then i promise you you will get the cheapest tickets that we will ever offer on tuesday, september 4th. we are sending out a blast that will shave $10 off the combo ticket price if you are a new list member from the last couple of months. we are only going to send this out once, and the buy by date is september 15th, and the only way to even know what the code is is if you get either the email or the text message wit it in it. so sign up now, take advantage of it, and hope to see you at the house!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Virtual Tour of the House

Please check back on the site middle of next week. by then we will probably have posted our new virtual tour of the house. we are storyboarding 10 out of the 23 rooms in the house. the ones we are not doing were just too difficult to avoid spoiling what happens in the room. the ones we do have will give you an indication of how friggin' cool this year's house is going to be. we really, really, really raised the bar this year. if you take this virtual tour i think you will get so excited to go that the tension created from not being able to go until the end of September might make you kill something.

Secret Text Club Early Bird Special

this is not something we advertise on the site, but if you are reading this blog you deserve better, so i am going to let you in on a little secret. if you join either our text club or email list before september 1st we are blasting to all of the new list members a code that has to be used before september 15th that will be the cheapest tickets we will ever offer for this year. no discounts we will do will ever be as cheap as what is being offered in this text and email blast. it's a way to say "hey, thanks for signing up for a list for a halloween event in the middle of summer! here's your reward!" it is an early bird special. it is also a way for us to test the effectiveness of text blasting. this is a new thing that will probably become passe by like next year.

the maze on the site

i suggest you do the maze on the site. it is very cool. it was designed by our crack design team here at Nightamre Central, headed up by Mister Jim Glaub. it is not as big as the maze will be at the venue, if it was it would literally be impossible for you to get through in an 8 hour day. BUT it will be as difficult in relative terms. the virtual maze (as any maze on paper) you can see from above, the whole thing, and can quickly fix your mistakes. when walking through one you have no idea which way to go. there is nothing for you to go on. so i think our venue maze will be as difficult as this virtual one relatively thinking. at least, that was the idea. i did it in three tries (the tougher part is you have to finish before the bad guy). someone in the office did it in one, but that was pretty spectacular. if you do it in one i will mail youb $1. to prove you did, all you have to do is tell me and i will believe you of course. and while waiting for that dollar, you should hold your breath. that should work out well.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Haunternet Blues

our big haunted house directory website was supposed to launch July 10th. we still haven't. tons of programming. it is a very big site. i had no idea it would be so complicated. i thought websites just built themselves.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Sound Design

I am the creator and head of the concept team for the Nightmare haunted houses. i am also the director and one of the producers. one of the things i have yet to be is one of the designers. now, when i say designer i mean in the theatrical sense. as a theatre director by trade, when i direct a play i hire the lighting designer, the sound designer, the set designer, the romantic designer and the designer jeans. and as i do when i am directing, what they design is based on my vision for the play and my direction in how i would like for them to do it. it's the same thing for the haunted house.

Except, in addition to being the director i am actually designing on that practical level as well. out of all of the design mediums, the one i have always been most attracted to was sound design. i remember when i was a little boy going to MGM studios in Orlando and going to this one "exhibit" that had you put on this black helmet. you couldn't see with this helmet on, and the helmet had speakers in it. there was this corny little detective story that played out completely aurally. it was pretty amazing the way it was designed. it was an experiment on how the senses play off of each other. when the voice got close it sounded like the character was whispering to you and you could feel his breath. it was all kinds of little gimmicks like that. i loved it, and fell in love with sound design.

so i have been training myself on sound design and have already sunk my teeth into it. i am really enjoying it. the only hint i will give you about what is the sound design is that each room has its own ghost story as told to us by the users who came to the site last year and participated in our ghost story campaign. each room will tell those stories in more ways than one. and i like whispers.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

First Big Designers Meeting

so, we have been conceptualizing for months. we wrapped the room conceptualization a month and a half ago, and then we went into the design phase. first was getting the overall room designs from the set designer. each room is fully drawn. to scale, ready to be built. we then created a kit of all 23 rooms and we scheduled our first all design team meeting. i presented the house to the entire team for the first time. It was a complete success as the entire team was very impressed and excited and thought hands down that this was the most creative house that we have ever done. they all can't wait to sink their teeth into their respective roles.

the one thing that everyone got stoked about was the fusion between the artistic and theatrical with the shocks and scares. in years past i have been struggling with a way to make the house unique, creative, artistic and theatrical as well as scary. although with each year i get better at this, the consensus seems to be that this house is equal parts inventive/ creative and balls out scary. we have so many "boos" in the house this year you're going to scream your nuts off. you too ladies. but what is cooler are these boos are done in a way that you have never seen before. i have been in too many houses where you can point to where you know thet scarer is and how it is going to be done. long hall, long hall, long hall - BOO! yeah, no buster brown, you didn't get me. knew you were there.

not this time sucka punk. we're gonna getcha. homie..we'll wetcha.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

We've Launched!

but i guess you already know that. you wouldn't be able to read this otherwise. But i am writing this on the day that we went live, so it is new to me. we always had a holding page, but now the full site with its complete redesign has been launched. there are still plenty of bells and whistles that need to be worked out and added, but more than just the nuts and bolts are here. so, whaddya think? pretty cool site, no? i like it. it is a bold move for us because we have always had a completely different look and feel in the past. what is risky about it for us is that our sites in the past have also been extremely effective. people thought they were scary, thought our house would be scary and then bought a ticket. i hope people think this site is scary, but we decided that useful, utilitarian and interesting were equally as important. it is not quite as atmospheric, but this why. some flashy things need to be sacrificed to make the site more useful like Thomas the Train. he's a very useful tank engine.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Stupid Ghosts

As many of you might know, especially if you were interested enough in reading this blog, that this year's house is based on ghost stories that people wrote in during last year's house. i was looking for personal experiences to dramatize. we are combining those haunting experiences with iconic stories that we all know and love from camping and roasting socks over the campfire. i think the combo will make a wholly original ghostly experience. Many of the submissions were pretty scary and offered a great deal of opportunity to theatricalize and bring to life. And since these were personal it also brought the opportunity to stage experiences that are completely new, but equally as terrifying. And then there were the assholes.

Since it was a contest to win a trip to Vegas if you participated, many people sent something in just to qualify, so many of the answers were some true bullcrud. I got "you know the one about "blah, blah, blah", "my grandfather's house has a wife and kids in it and he sees them every night" (what the f?), to my personal favorite: "I did a kick flip once!" thanks bro-han, great ghost story you douche. the list goes on and on. i got this one on more that a dozen occasions: "ghosts."

we want to run a similar campaign every year where we ask people stuff that will help inform the next year's house for the chance to win something, but it would be great if one actually participated. To be true to our contest rules and regulations - if you submitted you qualify - but i think we need to look at these bylaws a bit. I think we can do better than "Hey, I'm A Dick" as a submission to "Are You Afraid of Clowns?", no?

so, thanks for the ghost stories for those who participated in earnest, and thanks for the laughs to those who didn't (but let's try harder next time, 'kay?).

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Maze

We are having a great big, indoor maze this year. although not as big as the haunted house, or as complex in interior design elements, it is going to be scary and every bit worth the $10 we are going to charge for it. it will not be easy to get out either. i have a couple of plans for that that i can't tell you about. I'll just say, in certain scenarios, you will literally not be able to get out of it (okay i will just tell you - we are actually going to try and kill you for fifteen minutes after the alarm goes off. just kidding. no i am not). and what's worse, is that we are going to have baddies chasing your ass the whole time. i am actually looking very much forward to mounting this for the first time. we had a maze a couple of years ago, but it was flimsy, easy to get out of (unless you were an idiot), small and not drunk asshole proof. this one is of the sturdy, industrial variety, and it is big.

we don't have a name for it as of yet, so if anyone has any ideas, please chime in....

Monday, July 9, 2007

Haunternet, Drive-In, Scare Room

We are currently developing and set to launch a national haunted house directory website called it also has haunted house and horror movie news and reviews, free downloads, games, and very sexy "Haunternet Girls" which means we have photos of your mom. We will be launching it withing the next two weeks (a soft opening tomorrow, but it will not be available to the public yet, sucker). It is going to be a really cool website.

We are also this close to doing a drive-in movie night with Hot 97 and Lionsgate. The aim is to premiere a horror movie in the parking lot of our haunted house venue with the sound coming from an FM radio feed in the cars that you are sitting in (well, not necessarily you specifically, but someone that looks like you but dresses cooler and wears black framed glasses). it is going to be incredible, but we are still working out the details, so i am not one-hundred percent sure it is going to happen yet.

finally, get your face together because you are going to be recorded several times in this year's haunted house. we have one room that is only visible with a super stunning photographer's flash. in the flashes you can see the horrors coming your way, and then darkness. in that flash, however, we are taking your photo and will be putting it on our website so that you can dowload it for free if you want it, or for others to laugh at how stupid you look scared shitless. the other room is the scariest room in the house. can't tell you what it is, but what i can tell you is that it is fool proof scary, and because of that we are setting up a closed-circuit camera to feed into the lobby where patrons are waiting to go in. what the people in the queue will see is only the part where you guys are screaming like baby goats. you will not be able to help yourself!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

1408, Hostel 2 and Halloween

Some people hate Eli Roth and his ilk with his torture porn and his cheeky attitude, but i'm sorry i like those movies. i'm not going to apologize, i'm just not. that's how i'm cut. and the other big criticism is PG-13 Horror movies. now this i agree is bullshit. If a horror movie is terribly scary alone it should be rated R so right off the bat i think the thing sucks if it isn't. and 99 times out of 11 it's true, but 1408 actually doesn't suck. it really works. it gets a little dumber as it goes on, but then wraps up nicely at the end, and then the ,very, very end sucks a little bit again, but i'm okay with that because it's hard to make a movie jackson!

but all told I've enjoyed the summer horror movies. this is really the first summer that horror movies have tried to open in and by and large they have tanked. people have started crying that it is "the end of horror" and of course that is wiggidy wiggidy whack. horror movies aren't summer fare. the summer is for irreverent comedies and very violent family action flicks. everybody knows this. but if you are a true horror film nit like me than you went and saw them anyway and saw 28 weeks later which totally rocked, vacancy which had a real nice premise, was kinda of good for a while, and then sucked, Hostel 2 which i really enjoyed, the hills have eyes which i TOTALLY didn't see, but i heard that people did see it, and 1408 which i really liked. of course there were more, but stop putting so much pressure on me i ain't friggin' fandango. Oh, and The Host was probably the best horror film all summer!

anyway, i am going to see Black Sheep this weekend and i hear it kicks cans and takes foggy, so i am looking forward to seeing it.

oh, and i bought the original Halloween the other day on DVD and watched it for the first time in like forever in anticipation of the Rob Zombie version, and can i just say that movie still holds up. run out and see it again at your local movie house immediately 22 years ago.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My colon

earlier this week i had a probe go up my butt to check for the reason why i have had abdominal cramps for some time now. the worry was some serious stuff, so they did a colonoscopy. fortunately they found nothing and i don't have anything serious, at least nothing serious in my colon. they are going to probe me in different ways over the next couple of weeks, but i think i dodged the biggest bullet (knock on wood). now the bad part is that they couldn't (or perhaps wouldn't? those a-holes) give me a video copy of the journey up my bowels on DVD. they claim that it "doesn't work like that" so i settled for some crappy photos printed off a computer. not even decent high-res scans. i bet you if i was someone famous like Pauly Shore they would have given me the video no problem! even KIT from Knight Rider.

the reason why i wanted them is because i thought it would make for an excellent screen saver to offer on our website. so you have Dr. Blechman to thank for not having that amenity. i also thought it might make for some cool video projections in the haunted house itself. maybe next year when i have a urinary tract infection i will demand it!

Friday, June 22, 2007


so, we have what might be the scariest logo yet this year. i feel like our logo has always worked, but this year scares me. it should be up on our website soon if it isn't already. i dunno about these things. no one talks to me. hell, the house might have happened already for all i know. who knows? nobody. except.

Monday, June 18, 2007

a family affair

My haunted house is a family affair. my two brilliant brothers are lead designers, Justin and Aaron, and my wife proactively wants nothing to do with it. so we are all doing our part! actually, when i first started this house it was because there was no house in NYC at the time worth a crap, so my wife and i built this thing up from scratch. she was three months pregnant and she was the ticket taker, house manager, line supervisor and she even from time to time had to perform in the first room until some frat boy asshole tried to kick her. i felt like that was not so good. we made a smallish but pretty cool house that only ran for 7 days and was really popular. sold out every night in fact, but in order for me to do it i sold away like 98% of the thing so i actually lost money on it. but the point was to create an annual event for the pay off to happen every year after the first. well, broadway producer Chip Meyrelles was in the line that first year, saw its potential and asked me if i wanted him to help me produce it. i said hell yeah, and this thing has grown ever since. it is now my full-time job, we run for 30 days instead of 7, the house has grown from 8 rooms to 23 and the design quality is off the chain. it's a pretty cool thing, and my son (now 2 years old) has a daddy with the most unique job in town, one that got mommy kicked by a frat boy while he was in her tummy. he says he doesn't remember that though.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Hey my first blog ever,like...ever

So this is my first blog ever, not just for this website, but ever in my life. Its mostly because i can't believe people read blogs. i mean, seriously people! i usually think this while I'm reading one. It's usually like, "blah, blah, blah, the last episode of Lost...blah, blah, blah Frappuccino, blah, blah. blah eating babies" and its fascinating because you are essentially reading a journal entry that was written to be read while pretending to be candid. like that guy who writes his diary with the idea that someone was going to read it some day. But we keep reading them. Of course they usually have an agenda, whether it is celebrity gossip, political gossip, local gossip, personal gossip, b-list celebrity gossip, movie gossip, television gossip, theatre gossip, art gossip, music gossip, inner, intra and inter-office gossip, has-been celebrity gossip, gossip gossip or medical prognosticating. without such lofty purposes there would be no real reason to read them unless the writer was just balls to the wall funny.

I'm only balls to the floorboards funny, so i, too, shall have a purpose; that is to give you some insight into what it is like to create and mount a very successful haunted house in New York City, and the progress we are making on this year's house - Nightmare: Ghost Stories! woohoo!

I'll tell you more in my follow up blogs, but essentially we are through the concept phase and this year's house is going to be a super-haunt. not just in the sense that it is, ya know, "super!" but in the sense that it is twice as big as any house in year's past. it might be one of the longest haunted house walk-throughs out there. i am aiming for 35 minutes. we had hoped in year's past for the house to be around 25-30 minutes, but usually hovered around the 17-22 minute marks. so how does one solve that problem? well, make it twice as scary (really paralyze you guys in there) and make it physically twice as big. done and done!